Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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