Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
