i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
