If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
