I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
