Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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