great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
