We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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