when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
