hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize