sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
