ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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