I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The uberlube is also flammable
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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