Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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