I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Help me help you realize you are a moron
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
