I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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