remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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