I wish I could teleport
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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