after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
