covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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