i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
