Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
