no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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