I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
