She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
