i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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