They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
