How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
