Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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