I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
did i walk over a car last night?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
