You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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