Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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