dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
