I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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