my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
