what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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