best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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