He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
