i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ugly people sure do ruin things
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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