You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
