It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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