3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
