I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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