every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
