All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
