My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
