ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
