i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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