lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
