Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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