I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
