you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
